Friday, January 20, 2012

A very off topic mommy/life/facebook/family/friends rant

I'm not much of a complainer. i don't use the internet to do my complaining. yes, those who live with me might hear some pretty often, but hey, that's because we live together. 

social media is an outlet. i know this. i get it, i use it, i love it. but what i don't love is going to look at the latest feed and seeing complaint after complaint, gossip, trash talking spouses, trash talking people who you feel the need to note, in the very status that you're talking trash in, that you have blocked, nor do i care to see that every other day you and your boyfriend/husband/child's father have broken up, hate each other, are now obsessed with each other again, whoops decided to call it quits again, blahblahblah.

yes i know there's a lot of people who get tired of looking at pictures of my kids. yeah, i get that not everyone wants to see my weight loss updates, or my coupon/free stuff tips, etc.... BUT at least these are POSITIVE things. 

if your man treats you like crap, chances are every one who knows him and you as well already gets that. so.... maybe its not so shocking when you post for the 10,000th time that you split up. we think you're stupid we feel for you when you go back to him and he does the same thing... but c'mon! you're doing it to yourself! when you keep going back to him over and over the sympathy level from others significantly decreases each time. and if you're going to be so silly and do that, then please don't go on and on every time about how you're NEVER going to do that again and you're so independent and don't need a man. when people tell you they wish you the best and they know you can do it without him and you'll be better off in the long run.... they mean it. no one is just saying that so they can reread what they said and feel good about it. They really want it to sink in! if you notice we stop saying this stuff and just replace those encouraging words with a ":(" or something... thats because WE GIVE UP.

no one can judge you for putting up with it if you keep your mouth shut and don't tell the world just what it is that you ARE putting up with.

just as i feel no need at all to judge anyone else's relationship, i don't judge parenting skills either. now if you abuse your child, neglect them, whatever, that's a different story. but hey, breastfeed/bottle feed, car seat/booster seat, disposable diapers/cloth, whatever, go for it, you bring kids into the world and raise them as your own, its not my responsibility to tell you how to do it. but please don't complain about your child's behavior if you're unwilling to meet halfway on a discipline technique!

ask me anything about how i keep my life chaos free and i will tell you: schedules! routine! don't message me begging for advice and help getting your kids under control and getting them to sleep/eat/stop throwing tantrums/use the potty/whatever else and then tell me- i try a schedule but baby refuses to stick to it. 

EXCUSE ME....who is the PARENT here?

don't be a pushover and give your child the adult role in the relationship and it will work. 

don't want your child sleeping in your bed? TAKE THEM OUT OF IT! the really nifty part about kids being LITTLE is that you can physically remove them from a situation and place them in a completely different one! 

won't stop crying when you lay them in their bed? 
ask yourself these questions:
need a diaper change?
scared of the dark?

once you rule out all of these things (and BTW, if they're scared of the dark... leave the light on. who cares) shut the door and walk out. make their room a safe environment that encourages bed time. if they won't stop playing with their toys, put 'em in a big box or two or three whatever every night at bed time. REMOVE THEM FROM THE ROOM. its the child's room so it should be CHILD proof/safe anyway, so if you take the toys out and you know they're safe, the door can be shut and they will be fine! 

will they cry?
will they kick the door?
will they hit their head on the wall over and over?
go in and check on them periodically and if they're okay, but their butt in the bed again. Don't say a word. just walk in, pick them up, put them in the bed, turn the light off, walk out. easy as that. if they fall asleep they might not make it to the bed, they might be asleep in the floor. so what?

boohoohoo, baby cried all night because they were scared.
HECK NO .doubtful. baby cried because baby wanted mommy to come get them and let them sleep in her bed. end of story.

put them in bed at the same time every night. lay them down at say, 9 o'clock. if its 3 am and they're still up, oh well. as long as you know they're okay, go to bed. they'll fall asleep eventually. 

TAKE YOUR BUTT IN THERE AT 9 AM and WAKE THEM UP! Drag them out of the bed if you have to. spray water on their face to keep them awake when they do get up.

you are the ADULT!
chances are if they went to bed at 5 am and mommy made them get up for the day at 9 am, yeah its gonna be a CRAZY annoying day, but I bet they'll take a nap at the time you want them to every day and they'll be ready for bed at 9. it might take a few weeks, but it'll happen. before you know it you'll know its 9 pm by the way they're acting because their body will tell THEM they're TIRED and they'll try to fight it. eventually they'll only cry a little and then before you know it, NONE. and i guarantee you they'll get up every day at the same time no matter what. 

do they switch back and forth between foods every other day?
one day they love something, the next they hate it?
don't make them one thing and have them tell you NO THEY DON'T WANT IT and then turn around and spend another 20 mins on something else just to have them turn that down as well.

of course this isn't ALWAYS the case, but most of the time the troubles people have with their children come from their weakness and the lack of discipline they give the children. children thrive off of routine and discipline believe it or not.

i will never tell someone to "spank" their children.
BUT i will tell you that if a child does something repeatedly and NEVER faces the consequences for what they did, telling them its "bad" isn't going to change anything. they don't care. as a matter of fact that sweet little angel of yours probably LOVES to intentionally do bad things just to see you get irritated about it and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! 

its like that game that us mean girls play where we don't like someone so we push and push and push until they BREAK just for our own entertainment. and because we know we can!

time out works wonders.
oh your child won't sit in time out?
neither would mine, i always said.
here's the trick.

put a chair in the corner and make this the time out spot. no one can touch it or even come near it unless they're told to sit there. its not a fun place to be.

know that little rule that you put them in time out for a minute for every year?
1 year=1 minute
2 years=2 minutes and so on?
that doesn't mean sit them down and listen to them cry and kick and scream for 2 minutes.
it means sit them in the chair and tell them to look at the wall and not to talk or cry and after 2 minutes they can get up. if they choose to sit there silently for 2 minutes, good for them, they can get up. but if they choose to kick the wall and scream and cry, throw themselves out of the chair, hit their face, play with their feet, laugh at you, talk to you, whatever, JUST IGNORE IT AND START THE TIME OVER AGAIN. if you want to warn them, go ahead, but i advice you just flat out ignore it. 
remind them from time to time that every noise they make, every movement, etc, the time starts over. i just say "2 more minutes" and go on about my business.

when they get up, get down to eye level with them and tell them why they were in time out and make them apologize. if they won't apologize, make them sit there again. the point is to learn whats right and whats wrong.

know how dogs sense fear? well, kids sense weakness. and when they sense it, they take advantage of you. 

okay okay, moving on from the child thing.....
FOOD. Diets. weight....
touchy touchy subject, huh?

if you're overweight,
PLEASE, never EVER EVER EVER put someone down for dieting.
STATUS UPDATE: starting a liquid diet! fun!
COMMENT: that can't be healthy!
ummm you know people can survive days and days without food........ right?
you know that doctors put people on liquid diets.......right?

also.... don't go on Pinterest and pin 10,000 fitspo pics and say you're going to look like that soon and you're going to work out like this and you're going to lose this much weight and turn your life around and eat healthy..... and then pin 100,000 recipes for chocolate cake, cookies, 2500 calorie casseroles, and then top it off with pictures of you devouring it getting posted straight to facebook after you make it.

its like a meth addict updating their status and saying okay guys, i'm going to get clean, i'm so proud, no more drugs everyone! Lets do this! and then being tagged in someones pictures holding a pipe.

don't want to be fat?
want to get in shape?
do what i do... pin those recipes, make them for someone you love, watch the joy THEY get from eating it, and pin a few for yourself that are healthy, and make those. 
then go spend half the time that you spent cooking working out.
might not seem like much, but its a start!

OH, and girls who want to post subtle hints about how tired they are of seeing everyone's kids every time they get on FB, and they're so glad they aren't like "everyone else and getting pregnant"... 

most of US don't care to get on FB and see pictures of you in ANOTHER slutty dress, at ANOTHER party or club, drunk again and looking like a hot mess, holding your cigarettes, and hanging all over ANOTHER guy, who isn't your boyfriend. 

and for those moms who live at home with their parents and don't work, or work and let someone else watch their kids all the time, and then go out once the kid is in bed or go out EVERY weekend..... please just don't EVER brag about your skills as a parent. sitting on the couch nursing a hangover while your kid watches TV and eats a meal that your mom made them is not "mommy time". mommy time would be changing diapers, cleaning little butts when they get off the potty, picking up their messes, making their breakfast, lunch, dinner, giving them baths, tucking them in, whatever. 

COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO SOCIAL MEDIA BUT ANNOYING ALL THE SAME... people, stop taking GOOD people for granted. i get the joy of experiencing this daily for the most part. if you have someone who loves you, who takes care of you, who thinks of you all the time, who would do anything for you, don't ruin that just because you're a jerk. there are a lot of bad people in the world and those bad people make it harder for us good people because nowadays everyone just thinks everyone is out to screw them over.

DON'T MISTAKE KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS. just because i might not come right out and say it, if my feelings are hurt i'm not just going to swallow my pride and ignore it, i'm going to remember it. screw my over once or twice and then prove to me that you are sincere when you say you made a mistake and you're sorry, then we're okay. screw me over again and it doesn't matter how sorry you are, i'm done. i will not invest my time into someone or something that doesn't deserve it. 
just because someone is family doesn't mean they're exempt from this either. just because we share blood, you don't have the right to walk all over me, use me as you please, take advantage of me, and expect me to forgive. 
it'll be a cold day in hell before i take that.

there is only one time in life when i am just down right mean and that is when i'm hurt. if i'm going on and on throwing the cruelest words at you that you've ever heard, if you think i hate you and don't understand why i'm so cold towards you its because you did something that has SHATTERED my heart.
i let people see me cry for too long, i let them see what they did to me when they hurt me and i saw the satisfaction they got from that and i realized i had to stop it from happening again. hurt me today and i might push it down so far in me that you don't even realize you add had an impact on me at all, but just wait it out and you'll see how much anger manifests from pain. and it feels a lot better to let out than some lousy ol' tears do.

if you're a skanky girl who has a good guy who works hard for you and you take him for granted and treat him like crap.... SCREW don't deserve him, let him go. i have my own good man who i love with all my heart. he might make me mad, i might wanna kill him sometimes, but he works hard for me and our family and he takes care of me in ways no one else ever has. and because of that i'll take care of him like i feel like a woman should. i'll cook, i'll clean, i'll handle the kids, i'll wash his clothes, if he needs me to i'll even lay them out for him, because i know if nothing else, he's rare. good men are hard to find these days and if you take them for granted when you have them, you never deserved them and there's a wonderful girl somewhere being treated like crap and wishing she could find a man like the one you don't want.

finally for all those people who put down stay at home moms: find a new hobby. okay, you go to work for 8 hours, 12 hours a day? cool. you get paid right? you get a lunch break... right? you can stop at any point and run to the restroom.... right? you get at least a day or two off every week... right?

i wake up every day right after the sun comes up.  this is, of course, after i go to bed at midnight, get woken up at 1 am to change the baby's diaper and give him a bottle, go back to sleep, wake up again at 4 am and do the same thing, then catch a few more hours of sleep before i'm woken up by a 2 year old and a 3 year old SCREAMING at me to wake up. oh wait, not just wake up. 

make me a cup!
i'm hungry!
i peed in the bed!
mommy, i'm sick!
mommy...mommy.. mommy.

yeah. imagine your boss standing beside your bed at 7 am telling you to get up and start working.

once i get the clean clothes on, the breakfast made, the juice poured, the table cleaned back off, and have them entertained for a minute, the baby is awake and needs to have his diaper changed, a warm bottle made, burped, clothes changed, etc. then when i can get him entertained for a few minutes i get to start making my breakfast. just as i sit it on the plate, someone is hurt, someone is crying, someone is sick, someone made a mess, someone is breaking something. food sits. food gets cold. oh crap, its lunch time. kids need lunch, kids are hungry. make them lunch. eat my cold breakfast. clean the kitchen, clean the living room, clean the bathroom, get spit up on, get thrown up on, peed on, vomited on occasionally, break up a fight, get yelled at, drag a kicking child across the room to time out, all that fun excitement. oh finally, dinner time, time for work to be over right? not quite. make dinner, clean the mess made, wash the dishes, start the laundry, put the laundry up, bath time, baby needs to be put to sleep, oh, kids bedtime, wait lets fight that for 2 hours until they will finally stay in the bed and go to sleep. work out. time to climb into bed. CRAP! forgot to take a shower! take a shower.... baby wakes up. feed baby. lay him down for a few minutes. dry hair. pick baby up, get him ready to go back to bed. spits up in clean hair. put baby back in bed, finally climb back into bed. stomach growls, didn't ever have time to eat. go eat a snack. come back to bed. oh, cool, 2 am. hubby home from work. slams stuff around, makes noise, turns the tv on, wakes Mommy up, get back to sleep, baby wakes up. daddy falls asleep. mommy gets baby back to sleep.... finally falls back asleep too..... MOMMY! MOMMY! Wake up! I want a cup! I'm hungry! MOMMY! WAKE UP! 

YEP....morning time again.

good overtime pay though, right?
OH wait, i forgot.
there's no pay involved. 

NO. i don't sit on my butt all day in my pajamas watching tv.

NO. i don't get to do whatever i want and sleep as late as i want.

nope, getting out and running errands really isn't that fun. not with 3 kids. not when those errands are go get groceries, take the kids to get shots, go buy diapers, blah blah blah.

sorry to ruin everyone's idea of a housewife and mommy.... but its not an easy job!! 

but its one i love.
most of the time :)


  1. I adore you. I have respect for you and I look up to you.
    those babys have an awesome mom and your husband has an amazing wife.
    Get it gurrr.


  2. Pretty much the best post I've ever read online. You hit the nail on the head on everything, ESPECIALLY those girls on Facebook about "NOT being pregnant like EVERYONE else".. Have another drink twat face, id rather have cute kids to show than sloppy drunk pictures.
    I love this blog! Keep it up!

  3. Ok, so I'm pretty behind on reading the blog... But I gotta say, I lovelove this one!! =) Thanks for saying what has needed to be said since forever!!

  4. I just came across your blog..this is one of the best posts I have ever read. love it! Thank you for speaking the truth, and sharing some damn good parenting advice!